Berkeley Emotional Pain Help
Emotional pain from having difficult parents
If you had a parent or parents that were thoughtless or even hurtful, where you felt ignored, judged, attacked, shamed or overwhelmed, you are not alone. Many people these days have had a difficult relationship with their parents in their childhood.
The effects of emotional pain
Growing up with parents that were abusive, neglectful, critical or overwhelming can leave deep pain that doesn’t necessarily disappear in adulthood. Although you may have found ways of coping with difficult feelings, they can remain in the background, leaving a sense of not being okay as you are. You may try to cover this over by working harder, setting impossibly high standards for yourself or others, or you may retreat from life and others, not wanting to risk being seen or shamed or attacked again.
You may choose partners that are like one or both of your parents. This can leave you feeling hopeless, like you will never really be loved for who you are. There are many others ways that the pain can show up.
How therapy can relieve emotional pain
Because this pain and shame came as a result of a relationship in which you didn’t feel seen or loved or understood, our relationship in therapy is very important. It will give you the opportunity to be seen, understood, and treated with kindness and respect, rather than judgment, blame or neglect.
We can explore together where the pain that you carry inside came from, how it did not come about because you were deficient, unlovable or bad. Without dwelling on it or getting lost in it, you can feel and acknowledge the pain and begin to move beyond it in an atmosphere of caring, warmth and clarity.
Our relationship can become a kind of new model in your mind for how relationships can be, and with this new experience you may find yourself risking new ways of being, ones that bring you real warmth, satisfaction and engagement in your life. You may well feel, perhaps for the first time, that you are fine just as you are, and that all you need to do is simply be yourself.
If you would like to begin exploring this, please feel free to call for a free 30-minute consultation, either in my office or by phone. You can reach me at (510)540-0813, or you can e-mail me at ninashilling@msn.com. If you prefer, you can click here. I welcome finding out what your questions and situation are.
Specialites
About Nina
Nina Shilling provides warm, nurturing therapy to individuals and couples. She welcomes spiritual inquiry and is LGBT friendly. Her office is near the Downtown Berkeley Bart station and all major freeways.