Berkeley Low Self-Esteem Help

If you have the nagging sense that you never quite live up to your own standards, or that you feel something is missing inside you that others have, or that if you only had something or someone special, you would be satisfied, you may be trying to cope with a feeling of low-esteem.

You may not realize that you have low self-esteem. But you may be aware of:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Loneliness
  • Perfectionism
  • Shyness
  • Fear of Failure

Low self-esteem is not something that we are born with. It’s something that we learn, often from painful experiences in early childhood. If as a child you feel held in love and supported through the ups and downs of your life, you are likely to have a have a sense of basic trust in life and in yourself. On the other hand, if your early environment was not supportive to you, if you felt unseen, unloved, criticized or abused, you are more likely to develop the idea that perhaps you are not a worthy or lovable person, that there is something at the core of you that is wrong or inadequate. This is what we mean by low self-esteem. This seems to be a common problem for many people in our culture.

Fortunately, low self-esteem can be unlearned, just as it was learned

This is where the therapeutic relationship comes in. Since low self-esteem came about as a result of a relationship that did not serve your needs, and led you to believe that there was something wrong or missing in you, it is possible to undo those inaccurate messages by experiencing a relationship now where you feel seen, respected and held in positive regard by someone whom you trust, someone who doesn’t want you to be anyone other than who you are. As you and I develop a foundation of trust and respect, it becomes possible to open up and reveal the wounds that caused you to retreat into low self-esteem. Through this warm and safe relationship you may find it possible to see and feel the pain of your past, and also begin to feel the confidence and support to move into a new, more accurate sense of yourself and your worth.

When this process of healing begins, many things that now seem impossible may start to become possible for you. You may become willing to take the risks in your life that bring you what you need, or you may simply begin to realize that you and your life are perfect just as they are.

If you want to explore whether therapy is right for you, I am happy to get together with you for a free 30-minute consultation in my office or by phone. You can call me at (510)540-0813 or e-mail me at ninashilling@msn.com or click here.




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About Nina

Nina Shilling provides warm, nurturing therapy to individuals and couples.  She welcomes spiritual inquiry and is LGBT friendly.   Her office is near the Downtown Berkeley Bart station and all major freeways.