Berkeley Life Transition Help
Life Transitions
Changes and what they bring
In a culture that downplays or even ignores the deep emotions that come with life transitions, therapy can be a place where these emotions can be respected and explored. Although times of change can be challenging, upsetting or disorienting, they also can be times of great discovery, where you can grow and become more confident to be who you really are. This is the silver lining of working with life transitions.
Life transitions can bring up concerns that we normally are able to ignore or dismiss. So, in these times you may find yourself not only dealing with the difficulty of finding yourself in a new situation, but you may also be dealing with personal concerns that were there before the life change occurred.
How therapy can help with life transitions
Therapy is a place where we can explore all of these. We can work together on ways to cope with material, financial, relationship and physical changes and also look at the emotions that these changes bring with kindness and compassion. Since many of us as children never learned this, it becomes part of the process of therapy to learn this potent art. Often these situations will give you an opportunity to grow in a deep way that you normally might not allow yourself. In this process you can discover your inner strengths and aspirations that inspire you and give you genuine courage.
It is said that in times of combat, deep relaxation is often the key to victory. So too, you can learn how enjoyable it is to relax and let the juiciness of life offer you its many gifts. You can give yourself the opportunity to explore new interests and opportunities.
A wider circle of support
Life transitions can also encourage you to discover how to widen your circle of support, through family, friends, groups and community organizations. You can also find personal ways to support yourself, like writing, art work, periods of personal reflection and study, and discovering the healing power of a simple walk in nature or of a period of quiet meditation.
Menopause
I often work with women going through menopause. This can be a time of great transformation and opening. Rather than being a period of loss, it can be a time of rich discovery, deep inner work and a coming into a fuller enjoyment of your body and your life.
Entering Adulthood
You may have been told that the world is your oyster, but you may not feel like you know how to open it, or how to find the pearl inside. Leaving home and starting out on your own can be a period of great opportunity but also can feel overwhelming at times. Perhaps you’ve come to a new city, entered a new college or university, need to create or widen your circle of friends, or want to learn how and where you stand in creating a lasting love relationship. Perhaps you want to find the kind of job that will inspire you, and are not sure where to begin. We can explore these things together and find who you are in all of this, where you direction lies, and how concretely to make it flower.
Midlife crisis
You’ve worked hard, achieved things in your life, but now you may be wondering where the juice is in life, what can really give you satisfaction beyond a paycheck or a house full of responsibilities. For men and women both this can be challenging, but also an opportunity to find more lasting and profound enjoyment and meaning in your life. There are many opportunities that await you. We can explore them together, contemplate them and see what speaks to you.
Women Who Work Too Hard
Have you turned into a superwoman? Are you caring for the kids, supporting your family, needing to stay ahead in your job, cooking, cleaning, paying the bills…have I left anything out? Being a superwoman can leave you wondering how you can find the time and space just to be. I can explore with you how you can trim down your list of tasks, get off the treadmill, and give yourself the opportunity to find personal satisfaction and joy. It really is possible. You may find that your family enjoys the you that just kicks off her shoes and relaxes. It is even possible that some of your work associates will appreciate the ease that you bring to the job.
Empty Nest
Your children have left home and you are left with a void and a great opportunity. We can look at both of these together--the feelings of loss and the many opportunities that are now open to you. You may be surprised that you find you have more than enough things to fill your life, things that really engage you.
Getting married and starting a family
You may have read some books on marriage and family life, or heard from friends what it’s like, but this doesn’t really answer all the question you have in your life. Relationships can be endlessly rewarding, but also can be puzzling and challenging. Good beginnings are great, and even hard beginnings can be good beginnings when you understand them. Let’s look at this together, and see how you can create your situation so that it reflects what you want.
Divorce and what follows
There’s no denying that even if you were the one who wanted the divorce, it’s usually a painful process. It’s not always easy to see what lies ahead, or to feel and put to rest the difficult emotions that a permanent separation stirs up. We can work to support you in this important transition, emotionally, physically, creatively and practically so that your next step will be one you make on solid ground.
Loss of a partner, parent, child or friend
There are few experiences in most of our lives more profound than the death or loss of someone we have known and loved. This is not only a time for experiencing the grief that comes with this loss, but also may be a time when other emotions and issues that were not resolved between you come to the surface. In therapy we make a place for all of these emotions and concerns, exploring them with respect and kindness, recognizing that grief is not something that disappears overnight, and honoring the time and way in which you personally move through this process and, ultimately, beyond it.
I welcome discussing any issues that you may be facing as a result of life changes. To set up a free 30-minute consultation at my office or by phone, you can call me at (510)540-0813 or e-mail me at ninashilling@msn.com. If you prefer, you can click here. If you are interested in seeing whether therapy is a place that you can get help for your life transition, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Specialites
About Nina
Nina Shilling provides warm, nurturing therapy to individuals and couples. She welcomes spiritual inquiry and is LGBT friendly. Her office is near the Downtown Berkeley Bart station and all major freeways.